Monday, February 12, 2018

Advice from E.B. Black

As the author of numerous short stories (sixteen to date), I am often asked for writing advice from friends and colleagues.  For this reason, and in the spirit of the author interviews in The Paris Review, I enlisted the services of Jenny Roberts, our former babysitter and currently a staff member at The Suburban Weekly, a local newspaper.  She agreed to conduct the interview, below, which may appear in an upcoming issue of their weekend section.  By way of explanation, though my legal name is Ralph Kellerman, I have chosen the pen name of E.B. Black.

Interviewer:  Mr. Black, thanks for meeting with me this afternoon.

E.B. Black:  You’re perfectly welcome Ms. Roberts.  After all, it was my idea.

Interviewer:  When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer?

E.B. Black:  I always loved to tell stories as a child but it was in the second grade that my writing skills first received attention.

Interviewer:  Could you tell us about that formative experience?

E.B. Black:  Our teacher, Mrs. Shepherd, asked us to write about something that occurred over the summer.  It so happens that I spent a good amount of time at the local pool and my parents bought me a new pair of goggles for my birthday, which is in June.  One day, I was swimming about and a woman, later identified to be one of my mother’s best friends, jumped in from the side, losing her top in the process.  Needless to say, this made an impression on my young mind and I chose to write about that event, focusing on her rather large, buoyant breasts.  Mrs. Shepherd was somewhat taken aback by my paper and a meeting with my parents and the school principal was soon arranged.

Interviewer:  My, that was quite a start to your writing career!

E.B. Black:  As you can imagine, I was discouraged from engaging in that activity for quite some time and was pushed toward the sciences, which I did not enjoy.  In the end, I wound up in the insurance business.

Interviewer:  Yes, we in Riverside are familiar with your excellent insurance services.  When do you find time to write?

E.B. Black:  Usually on weekends, assuming the wife is out of the house and the kids don’t visit.

Interviewer:  Is there a special time of day that you prefer to write?

E.B. Black:  Not really.  As long as I’m awake and sober.

Interviewer:  Do you have a plot in mind before you begin a new story?

E.B. Black:  Usually I do.  I generally have formulated a beginning and an end to the story and spend most of my time filling in the events that occur between those points.

Interviewer:  How long do you generally spend on your first draft?

E.B. Black:  An hour, maybe two.

Interviewer:  That’s amazingly fast.  How many revisions are generally required?

E.B. Black:  I don’t revise my work.  Like they say in that new deodorant commercial, “I’m comfortable in my own skin.”

Interviewer:  I imagine, as a writer, that you read quite a bit.  Who are your favorite authors?

E.B. Black:  Actually, I’ve never been much of a reader.  Reading was always related to assignments during my years of education and, free spirit that I am, I came to resent being forced to endure long, boring classics.  Today, I read quite a bit on the Internet and, just recently, became a fan of flash fiction.

Interviewer:  Could you elaborate on that genre, Mr. Black?

E.B. Black:  It’s devoted to super-brief short stories, no more than a few pages long.  In my opinion, that’s the way to tell a story.  No need for endless flashbacks and excessive character development.  If you can’t make a point in three or four pages, you’re just not an effective writer.

Interviewer:  Would you offer an example from your own work?

E.B. Black:  Sure.  Take Freedom Lost, my story about a middle-aged guy who awakens to find that his wife has left him for another man.  Thrilled by his unexpected freedom, he celebrates with friends at the local pub, creating a bucket list by which to rejuvenate his life.  Of course, as you likely know, he crashes his Civic on the way home and is killed.  Now, I could have thrown in a bunch of stuff about his childhood, his miserable marriage and his infidelities.  I could have wasted print describing his personal attributes and those of his unhappy spouse.  Perhaps I could have even included graphic descriptions of his sex life to appeal to teens, lonely housewives and old men.  But what’s the point?  The basic story line is still there and that’s what counts.

Interviewer:  What has been your experience with Publishers?

E.B. Black:  Not good.

Interviewer:   Have any of your short stories been published to date?

E.B. Black:  Not in the trade, so to speak.  But they’ve been widely read by family and friends.

Interviewer:  Have you gained any insight from the rejections?

E.B. Black:  Mostly what I have already alluded to.  They want stories with fully developed characters.  I’ve also come to realize that a reference to classic literature, Greek mythology or other areas of interest to academics would help my cause.

Interviewer:  Have you studied the work of published writers, say in those annual anthologies, to discover the elements that seem to appeal to publishers?

E.B. Black:  I have actually tried that a few times.  What I have discovered is that catching the reader’s attention on the first page is essential.  If, by page three or four, I am getting bored and start to look ahead to see how many pages are left, I know that I am immersed in the world of elite authorship.  Hence my devotion to flash fiction.

Interviewer:   Do you have any advice for young, aspiring writers such as myself?

E.B. Black:  Yes.  Get a job in the media.  Start a blog.  Write brochures for businesses.  Avoid the world of fiction.  It’s brutal out there.